


Primal Instinct

by puckinginsane



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Banter, F/M, Flirting, Love, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-03-13 22:37:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puckinginsane/pseuds/puckinginsane
Summary: Two friends have different opinions about how the laws of attraction work.





	1. Chapter 1

I don't know how I got here. Ok, that's a lie. I know exactly how it happened. I didn't mean it in the literal sense of how I got here, more like how did I let this happen? How did I let it get this bad? Perhaps I should explain.

My friend asked me to go to one of his parties with her. She knew him through a friend and didn't want to go alone. I was hesitant at first, but my boyfriend was out of town and I had nothing else to do. Plus, I didn't want her to be alone, so I went. I had heard about his reputation and I wanted to keep an eye on her, especially since she planned on drinking.

The first thing I saw was his smile. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I saw that smile and knew I was in trouble. I love my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him, but I shouldn't have been having those kind of thoughts about another guy.

He walked over to us and introduced himself to me. "Hi, I'm Tyler," he said with a smile. That damn smile again, it was gorgeous. I found myself lost in it, smiling back at him. My friend quickly informed him of my relationship status and he just laughed, his way of blowing it off.

He hung around us most of the night. I thought I was going to be at the party protecting her from him but it turned out to be the opposite. She had to protect me from him. It's not that he crossed a line or anything, and I certainly didn't, but it was probably better that she was there. We talked a lot. He was charming, funny, goofy, and sarcastic. We hit it off right away. We would separate but eventually come back together. It was like we were drawn to each other. There wasn't anything sexual about it, just good conversation and laughs.

After that party we became friends. We would always hang out in groups at first but eventually started hanging out alone. My boyfriend is away for work a lot and he made me feel not so alone. We became pretty close pretty quickly. He's naturally flirty and I can be too so it's not uncommon for us to joke around. Recently it hasn't just been us joking. I've noticed the way he looks at me has changed. He means what he says. He feels that way about me. I can just tell. It's not like he tries to hide it or deny it. I'm not innocent in all of this either. I think the way I look at him has changed too, no matter how much I don't want to admit it or try to suppress it.

My famous line when I feel things are feeling too real is "I have a boyfriend" and he always replies with "I'm aware". He just doesn't care, not enough to stop flirting.

Today was no different. I felt like we were close to crossing the line so I said my usual "I have a boyfriend" and he said his usual "I'm aware", but he doesn't stop there, not this time.

He smiles so big, so mischievous. I know him well enough to know something else is going to be coming out of his mouth, something I'll probably want to smack him for. "You always say that," he continues.

"It's always true, " I reply. He has this smug look on his face that I want to just smack, but I also love it, I hate that I love it. What's worse is that he knows that I love it.

"Sometimes I think you say it to remind yourself and not me." He crosses his tattooed arms over his chest proudly, waiting for my response.

I roll my eyes and scoff. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it? I don't think I'm too far off." We are in his kitchen I have been sitting on a stool at the island. He walks over to other side of the island in front of me and leans on his elbow after pulling up a stool and sitting down.

I had been leaning forward, resting my head on the palm of my hand, but I sit up straight to put some distance between us. "Well you're wrong."

"What does this guy look like anyway? I need to see my competition." Even though we have been friends for a few months, Tyler hasn't met my boyfriend. That's partially because they've both been busy, and partially the fact I don't really want them meeting. My boyfriend knows about my friendship with Tyler. I don't hide it. He's fine with it. He trusts me. I just think it's better this way.

"It's not a competition."

"It's always a competition, even if the other party doesn't know. It's primal instinct."

I think for a second how to respond. We usually don't come out and talk about our attraction towards each other like this. It's been unspoken...until now. "Well, then he's won."

"No he hasn't," he retorts with a sassy head bob.

I sit all the way back on my stool. "I love him, Tyler."

"That's sweet and all but that doesn't matter. That has nothing to do with it."

"Oh really?"

"It's not about what you feel in your head. It's what your body needs, craves. I can tell by the way you look at me that he hasn't won. So I'm not giving up."

I pause for a moment. I really can't believe the words that are coming out of his mouth right now. "That's some theory."

"It's fact. In the end we are just a bunch of animals." He's so sure of himself. Half of me hates it, half of me is into it. I'm ashamed of myself how I let him make me feel.

"Well, this animal is taken so..."

"For now," he adds.

"I know this is a big house but how do you even fit that ego in here?"

He smirks. "It's not ego if it's true."

"Yes it is."

"Any girl is fair game until there's a ring on it."

I shake my head and roll my eyes. "You're lucky you're good looking because talking like that would turn any girl off."

"Not you. You're loving this." I hate that he's right. I hate that he knows he's right.

"Not really." I can't let him see what this conversation is doing to me right now, not that he doesn't already know.

"You only think that because you know I'm right."

"Never in a million years would I admit that line of thinking is right."

"It's all about chemistry. You want me and I want you. The universe will find a way for us to fulfill our needs for each other."

"So gross."

"What it really comes down to is how far someone is willing to go to get what they want, what they need. Most people respect that someone is in a relationship and they give up. They ignore what their body is telling them they need. Me, I don't give up. I'm not a quitter. I work and work and work until I get what I want and nothing is going to stand in my way." I don't know if it's in my head or what but I could almost swear he's gotten closer to me somehow.

"Ok, what if it was the other way around and it was your girlfriend some other guy's body so desperately needs? How would you feel about him going after her despite what you have with her?"

"That's simple. I never lose."

"You are unbelieveable." I cannot believe he has an answer for everything. I can't believe he is so sure of himself and in what he's saying. He can't possibly think what he's saying is true.

"Even if you won't admit it, deep down you know I'm right. Let me see this guy." He holds his hand out and waits for me to place my phone in his hand. I reluctantly take it out of my pocket and open up a picture I took of him last week. I place it in his open palm. He looks down on the screen. "Not a bad looking guy. I didn't peg you to go after the blondes."

"Hair color isn't important really."

"It depends on what you're attracted to."

"I have varied taste I guess."

"Yeah, I can tell," he replies smugly. A smile slowly creeps across his face. He is loving this. He puts the phone down on the island top in front of me.

"Your theory is flawed. If it's such a primal instinct then marriage wouldn't matter. You said she's fair game until he puts a ring on it."

"That has nothing to do with instincts. That's morals."

"Oh yeah, you're so morally conscious you're Mother fucking Theresa."

He laughs. "If she chooses to ignore what her body is telling her and she marries the wrong guy then she's going to be unhappy for the rest of her life. If she goes with her gut she will be very, very satisfied for a long time." Again, he feels closer but that's impossible. It's not like the island can move or become smaller somehow. I can feel my heart start to beat a little bit faster.

"It's not just about sex, though." I can't let him have the last word. I can't let him think that he's right.

"When you connect that strongly on that level, you connect that strongly on all of the levels. And if you think sex isn't everything then you're not getting it from the right place."

"Bullshit. Sex is a small part of the bigger picture. You first have to enjoy being around this person. You have to be able to talk and understand each other, care for each other, support each other. I love sex, but it's not everything. Not in the long run. You're not always going to have that."

"True, but a sexal desire is where it all starts."

"Ugh, you are so stubborn."

"So are you," he says with a sassy head bob and a smirk.

"I seriously don't know why I put up with you sometimes."

"Because you love me."

"I, um, I," I begin to say. I have to deny it. Even though I know he's not serious, I don't think, I still have to deny it. I am caught a bit off guard but still, I have to deny it. He's got to at least be partially joking, right? Why haven't I said anything yet?

"Have a boyfriend," he says before I can finish collecting my thoughts.

"Uh, yeah."

He sighs. "I'm aware."

That's not what I was going to say. I need to get out of here before I say something stupid, or worse, do something stupid. I push the stool back and stand up. He does the same and stands in front of me. "I should go," I say as I avoid making eye contact with him.

"No, please don't. I'll stop talking about that. I know I crossed the line. It's just I..."

I have to stop him before he says something he can't take back. "Don't."

"Don't?" he questions.

"I can't hear you say what you were about to say."

"Why? Because you know it's true? Because you feel the same way? You don't have to hear the words to know that they mean something. Not hearing them doesn't make it go away."

"I know, Tyler, but..." Before I can finish my sentence he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him. I sigh and hug him back. There's no denying I love his hugs. He knows I love his hugs. He puts his all into them. You can feel how much he cares. This hug lasts longer than usual. He rubs his hand up and down my back a few times as he leans his head against mine. This is bad. I have to get out of here. This needs to stop. I have to stop this. "I should go." I let go of him and he lets go of me.

"We can't go much longer pretending there's nothing going on between us. Someone's going to wind up acting on their feelings. It's only a matter of time."

I look up at him and into his eyes. He slightly smiles. I can't stop myself from smiling back. He's right. I have to make a choice. Do we continue being friends or possibly more and I break up with Adam? Or do I stop being friends with Tyler and stay with Adam? I don't think I can continue being friends and stay with Adam. "Yeah," is all I manage to say before hanging my head.

He lifts my chin up. "Don't fight it anymore." He begins to lean down towards me and I don't stop him. My heart starts beating faster and faster. Am I really going to let him kiss me? He closes his eyes and I close mine. I can feel him close to me, our lips about to touch. I should turn away, push him away, stop this from happening. I don't move. It's going to happen. I'm going to let it happen. It's not like I have much of a choice. I physically can't turn away. It's like a magnetic pull and I can't resist it. The more I resist, the harder I get pulled back.

"Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah. I won't give up, nah-nah-nah. Let me love you. Let me love you." Justin Bieber's voice startles us apart as it echoes through the kitchen. My ringtone. My phone is ringing. I quickly pick the phone up and look at the screen. It's Adam. I have to answer.

"Hey, babe," I say as I try to pull myself together. Tyler runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. I turn my back to him. I can't look at him while I'm on the phone with Adam.

"Hey, I'm done here so I got a different flight back and I'm leaving today instead. Well, now, soon. I'm coming home."

"Oh. Um, yeah. When are you landing? I'll get ready to head out to the airport."

"Should be landing around 7:30ish so you have a few hours."

"OK. I'll see you then."

"I can't wait to see you." My heart sinks. I am a terrible person.

"Yeah, same. Have a safe flight. Bye."

"See ya in a few hours."

I hang up and turn around to face Tyler. He looks down at the floor. "I have to get going," I say as I grab my purse from the kitchen table.

"Yeah. I heard."

"I, um...yeah. I'll talk to you soon."

He looks up at me. "Really? That's it? We aren't even going to acknowledge what just happened, or almost happened."

I begin walking towards the door to leave. "I can't right now."

"You're going to go pick him up and act like everything is normal? Come on."

I get to the door and open it but continue to stand in the doorway. "I have to."

He walks over to me and puts his hands on my cheeks and looks deeply into my eyes, just inches from my face. My eyes go wide with surprise. What is he going to do? "I love you." He pulls me in for a hug. One hand on the back of my head and in my hair, the other on the middle of my back.

I hug him and without thinking reply, "I love you too." He takes a step back, stunned. "But I have to go." Before he can reply I am out the door.


	2. The Moment We've Been Waiting for

_“Slut, whore, bitch.”_

Those words echo in my head on repeat as I speed down the tollway. I know they don’t describe me but I sure as hell deserve them. What have I done? Am I even doing the right thing? It all happened so fast. It’s not what I intended to do when I picked him up. The whole way to the airport I couldn’t wait to see him. The ride to his place was quiet. He was tired and I was in a daze. A rush of thoughts and emotions rushed through my body like a flash flood, destroying everything in its path. The words _“I can’t do this anymore”_ broke our silence. I didn’t mean to say it but I meant the words. There was no more holding back after that, no more pretending, no more lies. I told him everything as we sat in my car in front of his house. 

_“I knew something was going on. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you two together. I’ve been a fool for believing you.”_

I sat and took everything he had to throw at me. I owed him that much, to let him get it all off of his chest before we parted ways, presumably never to see each other again. I cried. I know I’m the one who did this to him, but I still cried. I did love him, do? What I feel for Tyler is different, though, stronger.

_“I hope he makes you happy, really I do, because if not then you fucked this up for no reason. I could have sworn I made you happy but I guess I was wrong. I hope he’s worth it. Goodbye.”_

I went to hug him goodbye but he just turned away from me and got out of the car. He did make me happy. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was and how much I love him and that he did make me happy, but I let him go. He wouldn’t believe me anyway and it would have made it so much worse than it already was.

I can’t believe that asshole was right. I can’t believe I listened to him. How could he be so right? Or am I just that stupid? I’m so confused. Where am I going? I know exactly where I’m going. I’m going back to him. I have nowhere else to go. I’m so mad at him. Mad that he finally put into words that we have been denying since we met. Bringing it to light. Acknowledging that it’s there. There’s no hiding from it. He forced me to do something about it. I wish he didn’t. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. He couldn’t just have left things alone.

This is a mistake. I shouldn’t be going to Tyler’s. I should be going anywhere but Tyler’s. Turn around, just turn around and fix things with Adam. Tell him you made a mistake. Beg him to take you back. It’s too late. I can’t take back the things I said. I can’t unbreak his heart. I’m on autopilot, no longer in control. Nothing is going to stop me from going to Tyler’s. It’s that damn magnetic pull again. There’s no fighting it. When am I going to listen to my brain? It can’t be that I need him, it just can’t. Fuck that. Fuck him.

I just got pulled over. I got pulled over for doing 90. I blanked. When he asked my why I was going so fast I blanked. I couldn’t tell him I was on my way to tell off my friend, or kiss him, or fuck him, I don’t know what I want to do. All three, really. I finally said I just broke up with my boyfriend and needed to get away and that I was sorry and I’d drive more carefully and he let me off with a warning. I’m lucky. I made sure to drive the speed limit the rest of the way here.

Here as in Tyler’s house, the last place I should be right now. I could still drive away. I haven’t gotten out of the car. I haven’t even turned the engine off. There’s still time to leave and give myself a chance to cool off. I don’t. I don’t leave. I don’t give myself a chance to cool off. I turn the car off and march right up to his door with purpose. I knock as hard as I can forgetting about the doorbell, just trying to get my frustration out on his door, which hurts my hand way more than the solid wood door. 

He opens the door and is clearly surprised to see me by the look on his face. I push him backwards so we both step inside. I close the door behind me before smacking him on the chest. “I can’t fucking believe you!”

“Ow! What?” he exclaims as he defensively puts his hands up to protect himself.

“You. And. Your. Stupid. Theory,” I say, hitting him with each word. 

“Stop, stop, stop. What are you talking about?”

“This is all your fucking fault.”

I hit him once more with each hand before he grabs me by the wrists to stop me. I am huffing mad. I stare into his worried eyes with fury in mine. 

“What happened?”

“You! You fucking happened!”

“What does that mean?”

“I was perfectly happy before I met you.”

“No you weren’t. You know who I saw that night? Someone who was lost. Someone who was looking for something more, something better. Someone who was begging to be saved. Someone who was pretending to be something she wasn’t. You wandered around the room searching for an escape and then you found me, or I found you, either way we found each other and you changed. I saw relief on your face. You weren’t pretending to be happy anymore. You were happy. You were happy because I was there and I was the one who was meant to save you.”

“Jesus, Tyler, you can’t say shit like that.”

“Why the fuck not? It’s true and I’ve held back long enough. I told you I love you and I mean it. I’ve never told anyone that before. I’ve never loved anyone before. But I. Love. You. I need you.”

I sigh. “I love you too, really, I do.”

“What’s the problem then? You came back here for a reason. What is it?”

“I broke up with him.”

I can tell he tries to hide the smile forming on his face but I think that would be impossible. He’s probably been waiting to hear those words since the night we met. “Good.”

I wasn’t expecting him to express sympathy but “good” really wasn’t something I was expecting either, although it doesn’t surprise me. “That fucking smile.” His smile grows across his face, teeth showing, his double dimples cutting into his cheeks. The smile that started all of this. The smile that keeps me up at night. The smile that I think about when I need a pick me up. The only smile I ever want to look at. The most fucking perfect smile I have ever seen and will ever see.

“What?” he coyly asks, knowing full well the power that his smile holds. Maybe he doesn’t know all of the power, though. All of our feelings have been unspoken until today. 

“The first thing I saw at that party was your smile. You had me then. I hadn’t spoken to you, I didn’t know who you were, I didn’t know anything in that moment but the fact that your smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Of course the laugh to go with that smile was just as perfect. You were so happy and so full of life and so carefree and so everything I wasn’t. We got to talking and I immediately felt at ease. I felt like I didn’t have to try to be something I wasn’t around you. I could be who I was and that it was enough. You gave me a sense of comfort, which only grew stronger as we spent more time together. You’re so magnetic and I thought that it was everyone that kept getting drawn to you because of your personality and the way you go about life, but it was just me, I kept coming back.

It’s not that I fell out of love with Adam, not at first, but that I fell in love with you so deeply. You showed me that there was something else out there. I didn’t know I could feel this way, this strongly for someone. I thought I knew what love was, I guess I was wrong. I’ve been tortured by these feelings because I’ve been fighting them. I’ve felt terrible, like a fraud, like I’ve been living a lie. I felt like there’s no way I could be in love with two people at the same time and what I was feeling for you wasn’t real, just different. I pushed my feelings aside and thought that would be it, we were just going to be really good friends and that would be enough.

I’ve been stupid, stubborn, in denial, all of those things. Everything in the universe has been telling me we belong together and I thought I knew best. I don’t know anything apparently. Even after I broke up with him and I was on my way here I was telling myself it wasn’t the right thing to do, even when there had been a weight lifted off of me and I felt like I could finally breathe again. Of course this is where I need to be. No matter how much I have tried to fight it I have always wound up right here with you wanting to be in your arms.”

He pulls me close and wraps his arms around me. I hug him back so tightly. This is where I belong. I wish it didn’t take me so long to admit it to myself. I rest my head on his chest and he leans down and lets out a long sigh into my ear as he continues to hold me. I can feel the reluctancy as he lets go of me and takes a step back to look into my eyes. He opens his mouth to say something only to come up empty, instead he holds onto my face with both hands and kisses me.

It’s our first kiss, something I have been wondering for months what it would be like. It’s everything I thought it would be and so much more. 

He pulls back smiling only to lean back in for more. This time he doesn’t pull away, not that I would let him. His lips against mine is everything I have ever wanted since the first time I laid eyes on him. The more we kiss, the more I don’t want to stop. I don’t need to stop or come up for a breath because he is the air that I breathe. Now that I have him I don’t ever want to let him go. Every moment we have ever had together has led up to this. 

We only separate so he can take my shirt off. We kiss some more before he takes his shirt off as well. I desperately run my hands all over his body. The feeling of his skin against mine is the most electrifying feeling I’ve ever felt. He pulls me up against him and kisses me more deeply as he starts to slowly and carefully walk backwards. I walk with him not knowing exactly where he’s going, but I do have an idea. 

We get into his bedroom and he takes my bra off and tosses it aside. We are still kissing as he backs me up to the bed and I sit down on it. He leans on his hands on either side of me and continues to kiss me as if our lives depend on it. I run my hands slowly up and down his back, memorizing every inch of his skin. I didn’t realize how much I’ve been craving to touch him until this moment. This is all I have ever needed, to feel his skin. 

I run my hands down his back and slip them under the waistband of his shorts and grab onto his ass. He grunts, which I’m taking as a sign that he likes it, and I pull him towards me. As much as I love the feeling of his lips against mine, the feeling of his lips on my neck is a whole other experience. A slight moan escapes my lips and I palm his dick and balls. He’s hard already, which makes me wrap my fingers around him through his shorts. I quickly decide that that isn’t enough so I reach into his shorts and start stroking his cock. He bucks his hips forward a few times to the rhythm of my hand.

There’s no hesitation on either of our parts. It doesn’t feel like it’s the first time we’ve been together intimately. It feels familiar. Like this is the way it’s supposed to be. Like we were made for each other.

Tyler breaks from the kiss and looks into my eyes and smiles. I can only imagine what he’s thinking right now. He teases my entrance as if he’s testing the waters. Seeing if I’m ready for him. He smirks when he realizes how wet he’s already made me. I want to continue kissing him but I let him watch my face as he penetrates me. He feels so good. He fits like a glove. I grip the sheets as he thrusts into me a few times before grabbing his head and pulling him down to kiss him some more. I’m addicted to his lips. I could kiss him for forever and a day and it still wouldn’t be enough.

I don’t know if it’s because of love or a deeper need but whatever it is it’s straight up euphoria. I have never felt like this with anyone else. Could it really be that there is one person on this planet that is made just for you? Could it be that Tyler is right? Could it be that I have been living my whole life just to make it to this moment to realize that up until now I haven’t really been living at all? Could it be that this is the first day of the rest of my life? Could it be that he is the one person I have been searching for? That I have been hungry for? It sure does feel that way to me. 

It could have lasted for minutes, hours, or days and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. I felt so connected with him that it felt like a lifetime. I didn’t want it to end. What’s crazy about sex is that while it feels so good while it’s happening, you’re working for it to end. You get so caught up in the climax that you don’t take the time to really appreciate the intimacy. I want to savor every moment with him. The feeling of his lips against mine, my hands down his back, the sounds of him softly moaning in my ear, his breath on my neck. The way he looks at me like I’m the only other person in the world, like this is the single most important moment of our lives. I hope he can see it in my eyes too.

We lay next to each other in silence. It’s not a bad silence or an awkward silence, more like a reflective silence. This has been a release of months of exchanged glances, smiles, flirty conversations, wonder, wanting, hugs that we wished lasted longer than they did, denial, guilt, pent up sexual tension, need. We don’t have to pretend anymore, it’s all out there. An incredible weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I don’t have to worry, I can just be. I can finally allow myself to want him, to need him, to love him. 

I look over at him and can’t help admiring the man next to me. It’s like the gods came down to earth to chisel out this perfect man. Just looking at him sends electricity through my body. His perfectly sculpted abs, his chest, his strong arms, his beautiful smile, his brown eyes that I could get lost in for an eternity. I immediately blush because he’s caught me checking him out. His double dimples prominently on display.

“Like what you see?” He asks. Tyler has never been one to hold back, especially when he can call me out for something. 

I can’t even deny that that is what I was doing. “Yeah.” Usually I would take the opportunity to knock him down a peg but not this time, not after he just gave me the best sex of my life. I think it caught him off guard. Even he was expecting a snarky comment. 

“Now that we are being honest here, you should just admit that I was right.”

“About what?”

“You know exactly what about.”

“Humor me.”

“About that need we have for one particular person on this planet. The one person you can’t stay away from no matter how hard you try or how hard you might want to.”

“You act like it’s a new concept you’ve come up with, but what you’re describing is love.”

“When you’re saying I love you, you’re really just telling them I need you so it’s the same thing.”

“I guess it can be both.”

“No, just admit that I’m right and it’s a need.”

I roll my eyes and sigh. “You’re so damn stubborn.”

“So. Are. You.” He kisses me quickly after each word.

A devilish smile creeps across his face. “Oh god, what?” I ask, not sure I am ready for the answer. 

“I’ve kinda been waiting for this moment since the second I met you and it’s better than I ever could have imagined. I need you or I love you. Whatever you want to call it, we belong together.”

“I love you too and I definitely need you so I think what you’re saying is it’s both and I’m right after all.”

He smiles. “Sure. Whatever you say.”


End file.
